Stop Telling Me I Must Simplify My Life Now

People love to talk about simplifying their lives.
All those adorable tiny houses and the dream of whimsical, simple living! Everyone wants to be Henry David Thoreau or a Shaker or something. Well, without the whole celibacy and religious fervor thing. And with central heating and A/C, maybe. And my headphones. So more like Thoreau, maybe, because I definitely couldn't do that whole single-sex dormitory arrangement. Also, I like to spend Sunday mornings doing brunch with friends, so that whole church thingy? No, that won't work for me. Also--if someone else would do the laundry that'd be great. But the baskets? So gorgeous and simple!! I'd love to learn how to make stuff like that someday. Not now, of course.
And I'll definitely need a yard for a dog.
Gated community maybe so I can lock up my simple life and travel. Learn about how simply the people live in Vietnam and Japan. We can learn so much from other countries. How they make do without washing machines or cars or farm equipment. I could watch them washing their clothes at the local stream all day! So elegant how they have only as much water as their daughter and wife can carry on their heads! So fascinating how simple their lives are! I mean, I could never do it, but we can learn so much. If our lives were simpler, we could all travel to places like this and learn about simplicity!
I'll need a dog sitter, but I don't like the dog sitter being in my tiny little house, possibly messing up my stuff. Maybe I'll just foster a rescue dog for the times when I'm not traveling and learning about simple living in other countries.
Anyway! I'll just blog and Instagram the shit out of my simple but super-rich life.
And talk about that documentary with that woman with the weird glasses? She's fantastic. More women should be brave like her.
But I think we should all try to live more simply.

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