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Back in Fat.


Okay--I'm fat again.

There. I've said it.

Yes, it's been creeping up on me for about 6 years. Starting with a gig writing travel articles during which which I indulged in vast and lengthy complimentary dinners of shrimp and rice and pralines and cream and oyster sandwiches and gained two pounds, which kicked me out of the "at-goal Lifetime" program of Weight Watchers and landed me on the "paid lifetime" program of Weight Watchers, which eventually led me to get a job with Weight Watchers, under the delusion that the fate of my employment rested with getting my weight down, which ultimately led to another 6 pounds out of corporate spite (I'm a Weight Watchers' leader and a fitness instructor--how could I possibly be considered fat??). Why, I still fit in my skinny jeans! I've just moved up a bra size, which got me a lot of free drinks. Nothin' wrong with that?!

Except that, with my genetic legacy, it's: tiny little butt; big ol' gut. And, along with that, the other, less glamorous issue of moving up from a C to a D is that, soon after the pulchritudinous heaving of the bosoms, one's arms follow suit--swelling like two giant bologna sausages that would make any HofBrauhaus Fraulein right proud. (But not that attractively.)

And then another two pounds. Just for the hell of it, apparently.

Today, I found a pair of Cavalli trousers at the Goodwill in my size and for a moment, knew that I couldn't pull them off; sincerely believed I did not deserve them.

So, let's just wait a cotton-pickin' minute here, and let me re-think putting those Cavallis on eBay! Sorry, all you curvy Cavalli fans--these pants are not for sale. The whole eBay thing started because I thought I'd sell the great stuff that wasn't my size and be able to keep the really cool stuff that was in my size. And besides, which, wearing a 10-pound suit of lard makes southern summers really, really HOT. And I'm not talking about salsa-dancing, either.

So, I'm back in the seats at Weight Watchers and not at the front; walking the walk. I don't want to say it's Cavalli pants that are the motivating factor here. I only paid
$3.49 for them. It's the confidence to pull them up and pull them off
that I'm after.

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