Skip to main content

Back in Fat.

Okay--I'm fat again.

There. I've said it.

Yes, it's been creeping up on me for about 6 years. Starting with a gig writing travel articles during which which I indulged in vast and lengthy complimentary dinners of shrimp and rice and pralines and cream and oyster sandwiches and gained two pounds, which kicked me out of the "at-goal Lifetime" program of Weight Watchers and landed me on the "paid lifetime" program of Weight Watchers, which eventually led me to get a job with Weight Watchers, under the delusion that the fate of my employment rested with getting my weight down, which ultimately led to another 6 pounds out of corporate spite (I'm a Weight Watchers' leader and a fitness instructor--how could I possibly be considered fat??). Why, I still fit in my skinny jeans! I've just moved up a bra size, which got me a lot of free drinks. Nothin' wrong with that?!

Except that, with my genetic legacy, it's: tiny little butt; big ol' gut. And, along with that, the other, less glamorous issue of moving up from a C to a D is that, soon after the pulchritudinous heaving of the bosoms, one's arms follow suit--swelling like two giant bologna sausages that would make any HofBrauhaus Fraulein right proud. (But not that attractively.)

And then another two pounds. Just for the hell of it, apparently.

Today, I found a pair of Cavalli trousers at the Goodwill in my size and for a moment, knew that I couldn't pull them off; sincerely believed I did not deserve them.

So, let's just wait a cotton-pickin' minute here, and let me re-think putting those Cavallis on eBay! Sorry, all you curvy Cavalli fans--these pants are not for sale. The whole eBay thing started because I thought I'd sell the great stuff that wasn't my size and be able to keep the really cool stuff that was in my size. And besides, which, wearing a 10-pound suit of lard makes southern summers really, really HOT. And I'm not talking about salsa-dancing, either.

So, I'm back in the seats at Weight Watchers and not at the front; walking the walk. I don't want to say it's Cavalli pants that are the motivating factor here. I only paid
$3.49 for them. It's the confidence to pull them up and pull them off
that I'm after.


Popular posts from this blog

The Lost Designer of the 80's

Claude Barthelemy seems to have been one of those if-you-needed-to-ask-you-didn't-need-to-know designers. In the '80's, he was listed as a young, hot couturier alongside go-the-distance blue chips like Karl Lagerfeld and Lanvin with his oversized sweaters, minis, leggings and fur-trimmed stoles. Exclusive stores carried his soft-edged jackets to shoppers in the know.

And then what happened? His pleated skirts, intarsia sweaters, and naughty, zippered wool catsuits still fetch high prices in vintage world and any dealer with his elegantly simple, Gallic tag on her racks raises a flutter in second-hand seekers. He designed for Barbie, for heaven's sake! But the designer himself, who seems to have cut a meteoric swath across the runways and then...?

So what's the story with this wasp-waisted pleated skirt? I wondered what else this woman could have dropped off on her Goodwill drive-by--a Chanel original? A couture Pucci? Surely someone this linked in wouldn't just h…

Meditations: Easter Sunday Mass, The Goodwill, and the Slow and Agonizing Death of the Myth of Quality Time that Couldn't Come Soon Enough.

Quality Time is horse shit.

The entire trite idea--from its insipid, pseudo-psycho-babbly-style name to its central philosophy--of "Quality Time" is horse shit.

I was an impatient, self-involved, artsy-fartsy teenager when all those insipid, pseudo-psycho-babblers started bandying the term about and I knew it was horse shit. They knew it was horse shit but they sold the stupid parenting books anyway!! EVERYBODY knew it was horse shit. But, much like the fantasy-land of politically-mandated communism, people still want to believe it can work. If you just get the right people in charge, if you can just apply the right amount of legislation and force and if we can just keep everyone from fleeing the can work! 

It will not.

It is horse shit.

People, children, animals, weather, opportunities, tides, horses, flowers, tomatoes and so on won't do something or have something or be something you want them to do or have or be simply because you designate a moment that…

5 "Thrift Store Find" DIY Craft Projects They Keep Showing, for Things You Haven't Been Able to Find at Thriftstores Since 1987.

Me love Pinterest.
I know it's all a big, fantastic lie, but like every other pretty magazine catering to our fantasies before it, it makes us feel like we can achieve the same, heavily worked-over, fantastically styled, filtered, and photo-shopped perfection in our own lives. And sometimes that's enough.

But as a professional builder of ridiculous, up-cycled things, and a veteran thrifter (I can show you the scars!), some of these Pinterest DIY are just a parade of despair, false promises and dashed hopes. There's no call for that.

1. Vintage Suitcase Crafts:

Not only is this type of vintage suitcase VERY rare at your garden variety thrift store, follow this link to see how much rather highly involved work went into it.

2. Stuff made with old "thrift store" silverware.

Here's what you'd hope to find:

Here's what you're most likely to find: Oh, this stainless steel crap will bend alright--most of it already has the scars of the church community cen…